Saratoga Dairy Memory
By John R. Greenwood
Long ago, a lifetime away, I worked at a memorable place called Saratoga Dairy. At this particular period of my milk related career, I was working the night shift. There were a wide range of jobs, with a wide range of lunatics on that shift.
To survive an eight to ten hour night shift in any processing facility you must possess the stability of a rabid squirrel in rush hour traffic. It was also a prerequisite to be a trained practical joke professional.
One hot July evening as we were unloading a truck of empty milk crates, we discovered a treasure chest of spoiled cottage cheese, bloating in the summer heat. What a great opportunity lay before us. The genius exhibited that hot summer night has yet to be duplicated.
Our plan was to plant this cache of rotting, bubbling, curdling, greening cottage cheese under the car seat of one of our coworkers. It would be whichever coworker happened to be next on the 'Hit List'.
What joy, we would experience when our victim returned Monday from his weekend off. His discovery would of course bring us all to our knees in laughter filled tears.
Try to imagine our surprise when we realized our coworker was leaving for a July vacation, and that he was planning to leave his rotting, cottage cheese-baited Plymouth, baking in the 90-degree sun for two weeks.
Pranks were rare for a few months after that July apocalypse.
Somewhere in an old country junkyard, decades later, there is an old unclaimed Plymouth permeating an odor unlike anything ever created naturally or otherwise.
Sometimes pranks go awry, people get hurt, cars are destroyed; by accident or by cottage cheese. The “Great Cottage Cheese Prank of 1977”, was the latter.
To this day, I can’t help but shudder each time I pass the dairy section of the supermarket or an old Plymouth sitting in the sun.
Pranks Gone Bad…