October 16, 2013

Husband Bags A Bag


Husband Bags A Bag
By John R. Greenwood

This is a simple story about those under the radar vacation events that when added up make them fond memories. This story was bagged out on Nantucket as we waited for our return ferry ride to Hyannis. Mrs. G and I had accumulated an assortment of items during our daylong visit. I did have a backpack but it wasn’t close to being big enough to stuff our collection in. As we sat there on a bench in the center of all those sweatshirt and gift shops I could sense Mrs. G’s mind in motion. She brought those thoughts to the surface with a simple request, “Would you do me a favor?” she asked. “Of course.” I said. I was pretty sure this was going to involve a purchase. “Would you go in that shop right there and see if there’s still a big yellow bag hanging from the rafters? I think it was the only one they had left. See if it’s still there and how much they want for it. Everything is 20% off.” 

We’ve were married in 1974. I was pretty sure those words meant don’t come back empty handed.

 I knew this thing was not going to be cheap even at 20% off. After all it was marked up 75% to begin with. I sauntered to the doorway and peered in. Mrs. G. is on to me. She knew I was hoping it was gone. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on who you ask, it was still hanging there proudly, just waiting for somebody to take her home. I looked up hoping to see an unacceptable imperfection to use as an excuse to leave her there until next summer. I scanned her over carefully. It was a big yellow beauty. I was growing attached. 

After the last customer left I asked the girl behind the counter how much the big yellow bag was. She said,”I think it’s $99. With 20% off it would be about $80.” Whoa, I said to my inner self. On the outside my face must have said, “You’ve got to be kidding?” Then, from the sky above (or from behind a tall shelf), I heard a man’s voice say, “You can have it for $60.” 

I summoned my inner Mike Wolfe of American Picker’s fame. I could hear Mike saying, “Make me feel like I’m gettin’ a deal.” I ‘stood tall’ as he would say and spewed out “Howbout $50?” 

The mystery voice countered, “Cash?”
I responded, “Ring her up!” 

It was classic Mike Wolfe. He would’ve high five’d me and cackled that annoying laugh. I was as proud as Darrell Sheets on Storage Wars when he scores a $50 dresser in a $1200 locker. Let’s just say it was a good day on the bargain finder circuit. 

I handed over the cash (no receipt) and strutted out the door. Mrs. G. was sitting there waiting. When she saw the bag in my hand she lit up like the day she met me. When I told her how the deal went down and what I paid, she was putty in my arms. 
Yes, it was a good day on the island, a very good day. 

4 comments:

  1. Great story John -- that is a wonderful yellow bag! -- barbara

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  2. Only you can make a funny and meaningful story about a yellow bag. I'm smiling almost as much as Mrs. G. :)))
    Diane

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  3. Ha, ha! And THIS is how "romance" is done in the real world. :)

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    Replies
    1. It's taken many years of intense training.

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