You Realize

You Realize
By John R. Greenwood

You wake up one day and you realize that fifty-eight years just scooted under your chair like a late night mouse and left you nothing more than a few nibbled crumbs of proof. Frightened by the thought, your tendency is to run after shadows of the past in hopes of recapturing the joy of high school summers and ski trip winters beside the woman who still fills your heart with love and support. Avoiding obituaries and embracing doctor's orders you pray for a stay of execution and sprint to the next day looking for more fuel for your mind and spirit. I've made that leap and without looking back I grasp at the handle of a moving bus hoping for a ride to another state of consciousness. A destination I've yet to identify. A place where I can flex my creative muscles and stretch my mind wide enough to let the future in for a look around. Having never traveled more than a state in any one direction my view of the world is untainted still. I yearn for something more, something alive and breathing with expression. I'm counting on a river and an artist to bring my dream to the porch steps out front. I am naive enough to retain a junior high optimism that my journey's destination is about to knock. I cup my ear with my hand, tilt my head toward the door and listen to the approaching footsteps. Never doubt your instincts. Never question your passion. Never close your eyes to a vision yet to be named. Always and forever strive for another day, another ride, another daybreak. 

I wrote this a few minutes after receiving a used book titled,"A Brush With Fate" by artist Jack Lewis. The book is packed with his colorful paintings along with additional background about his life. It assured me that my interest in his story is a worthwhile one. It is also a pull that never seems to take a day off. The following day I contacted the University of Delaware. Through my research I discovered they possess a copy of a documentary done about Jack's life. My next goal is to find a way to view that film. My hope is I will be able to do something through library sharing. We'll see what happens.