May 01, 2012



By John R. Greenwood

While on expedition on the remote streets of Portsmouth NH, I discovered this ancient Incan carving. High on a sleeve of Chips Ahoy I tripped on a loose brick and fell to the ground at its base. As I struggled to my feet and brushed off my scuffed up Dockers I heard a voice coming from the carving known as "Old Tire Eyes." The voice said, "Swift move -- swift as the current of the Piscataqua." Startled and shaken I ran for the safety of the nearest Lobster House Restaurant. It was there I learned that this local landmark was not a true Incan carving. I was told it was an old parking lot marker tagged by the infamous Portsmouth gang banger who calls himself, "Popeyes." Legend has it that "Popeyes" tagged the marker in his own image and not as, "Old Tire Eyes," as was previously believed. With this news I quickly pulled the composition pad from my back pocket and began to document my discovery. Who would believe me back home in the hills of Wilton, NY. Because of the remote location and the strict New Hampshire laws that govern parking lot temples I can not disclose the exact location. You will simply have to trust the results of my investigation. What I can tell you is this; there were two sleeves of Chips Ahoy in my jacket pocket that day and the second sleeve mysteriously disappeared. Magic? I think I can now safely say I am a believer! 

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