Missing: 30 Years
By John R. Greenwood
Where did the last thirty years go? It seemed to vanish into thin air? With it went two little boys. Two young sons who battered my garage with hockey pucks and stray basketball shots. Two active boys who left me with dent peppered aluminum siding and fond memories. Corners of my attic hold dry boxes of cherished remnants and Star Wars leftovers. It’s a constant reminder of my boys; now two grown men with sprouting families of their own. It stops me in my tracks.
I pine for the days when they would push me to the brink and I would snap and threaten their precious little lives. I miss the mischievous adventures and misadventures. It’s the thought of that relentless backseat poking and antagonizing that keeps that period of my life vivid and dear to my heart. Fidgety boys with endless energy and no regard for a parent’s mental well being. Yes, my heart aches for it. They were a joy and a journey. I would repeat it first thing in the morning if I could.
Last weekend as I was putting away my tree planting gear in the tool shed I noticed some thirty year old artifacts nestled on a ledge in the back. Some 1980 reminders of dirty faced boys with untied sneakers and grubby knees. Polite little boys in their Dukes of Hazzard t-shirts. They would charge in the back door, hot dog hungry and Kool-Aid thirsty. Two great kids who enriched my life and carried on the family name of my father and fathers before.
One hundred photographs passed before my eyes. Pictures of babies on picnic tables in state parks. Pictures of blanket wrapped toddlers sound asleep in squeaky wheeled strollers. Pictures of fun-parks, ballgames, and elementary school graduations. Visions of boys on red bikes, green plastic tractors, and my old white milk truck parked in the shade. I am swarmed by the priceless recollections of two warmhearted boys. If I had one last wish it would be to take them back to the county fair and walk them down the midway for one more round on circling helicopters and bell ringing boats.
I am not sad. I am blessed. I am thankful I was given the privilege of children and the joy of fatherhood. Not everyone is that fortunate. I miss my boys. I wish them the same joy.
SO WELL SAID!!!!!! I think you have said what many fathers and mothers feel, when we stumble upon an item, that brings our memories back to our childrens youth!! The baseball games, playing in the back yard, seeing their amazed look when they went to the circus.
ReplyDeleteNow as we have grandchildren, I feel it's a chance to enjoy our kids again....but this time through kids of their own.
Somehow, having a second chance to enjoy it again.....makes it so special.
What a beautiful post. Made me smile, made me cry. xx
ReplyDeleteA wonderful post, John!
ReplyDeleteJohn, thanks so much for commenting at Real Toads on my interview. I have not seen you in a long while, and this was definitely a post not to be missed.
ReplyDeleteI raised one girl, mostly on my own, and when you saw those trinkets in the garage and said, "A million photographs..." I knew what you meant. It IS a privilege to be a parent, and your boys are lucky to have had an involved, loving dad. They say it's the same feeling with grandkids, except you can hand them back when the diaper is soiled, ha ha. Take care! Amy
Sooooooooo true!
ReplyDeleteI'm in your corner on this one.
I still play with my son'r matchbox cars though... alone.
A beautiful post and reminiscence. With young children in one's life the days are so full and vibrant. To see the world through their eyes is to be always in the presence of wonder.
ReplyDeleteOh I so hear you. The photo is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, and I know so well what it is like to look thru old photos or at old treasured toys and wonder how that time of life went by so fast. I, too, hope your boys find the same joy in fatherhood that you did and I am somehow certain that they will, given the example of their wonderful dad.
ReplyDeletep.s. being a grandparent is a ton of fun too.
Your sons are so blessed to have a father who remembers (and recounts) their childhood so vividly.
ReplyDeleteendless energy and no regard for a parent’s mental well being
ReplyDeleteI laughed with this post and swallowed a few times... not quite tears as I still have four young ones in my nest... but two have pretty much flown (we still pay college bills... so not independent :) Lovely, lovely post, full of heart. I'm sure you treasure and spoil (in a good way) your grandchildren.