May 05, 2011

Pranks Gone Bad

Saratoga Dairy Memory
By John R. Greenwood

Long ago, a lifetime away, I worked at a memorable place called Saratoga Dairy. At this particular period of my milk related career, I was working the night shift. There were a wide range of jobs, with a wide range of lunatics on that shift. 
To survive an eight to ten hour night shift in any processing facility you must possess the stability of a rabid squirrel in rush hour traffic. It was also a prerequisite to be a trained practical joke professional.  
One hot July evening as we were unloading a truck of empty milk crates, we discovered a treasure chest of spoiled cottage cheese, bloating in the summer heat. What a great opportunity lay before us. The genius exhibited that hot summer night has yet to be duplicated. 
Our plan was to plant this cache of rotting, bubbling, curdling, greening cottage cheese under the car seat of one of our coworkers. It would be whichever coworker happened to be next on the 'Hit List'. 
What joy, we would experience when our victim returned Monday from his weekend off. His discovery would of course bring us all to our knees in laughter filled tears. 
Try to imagine our surprise when we realized our coworker was leaving for a July vacation, and that he was planning to leave his rotting, cottage cheese-baited Plymouth, baking in the 90-degree sun for two weeks. 

Pranks were rare for a few months after that July apocalypse
Somewhere in an old country junkyard, decades later, there is an old unclaimed Plymouth permeating an odor unlike anything ever created naturally or otherwise. 
Sometimes pranks go awry, people get hurt, cars are destroyed; by accident or by cottage cheese. The “Great Cottage Cheese Prank of 1977”, was the latter. 
To this day, I can’t help but shudder each time I pass the dairy section of the supermarket or an old Plymouth sitting in the sun.

Pranks Gone Bad…

jrg1.26.10



May 04, 2011

Bravery

Bravery
By John R. Greenwood
It’s all changed now
Things in the mirror suddenly look different
Little boy fear in the face of a tiger
No one behind with a pointed gun
All open field 
No where to run
Serpentine my only hope
Keep my back 
Out of sight

April 27, 2011

Late Nights and Lunch Breaks by John R. Greenwood


Chapter Two
Tackle Football and Falling Leaves
Young boys with torn sweatshirts and muddy Converse sneakers playing tackle football in long wide yards with high grass and falling leaves is a small town tradition. The fall smell of dry crunchy leaves heightens the senses and invigorates the energy of teenage boys. These were the happiest days of my youth. Our playing field of choice was perched atop Dake’s Hill, the highest point in Greenfield Center. The field was actually a section of the Dake family’s yard. One sideline was a row of vintage maple trees; tall, bark-thick, and unyielding. The opposing sideline was a hedge of wild thorn-heavy roses. One missed tackle and a trip to the depths of that hedge would inevitably result in a slow bloody extrication of a boy close to tears. One end-zone was a pair of century old maples, the other was a grey, four foot high wall of moss covered stones. Sundays were the day most chosen for our games. These afternoon fall rituals of touchdowns and bruised shins would last until tempers or hunger pains flared. 

April 24, 2011

Late Nights and Lunch Breaks by John R. Greenwood

Author and his dog Spike on the steps of the Greenfield General Store
Circa 1958-59
Chapter One
The Greenfield General Store and The Path
The center of my hometown from birth to my first legal beer was the Greenfield General Store. The store anchored the village dead center. All small town general stores in the first half-century were modeled in it’s image. My home was paint-peeling white and just one house to the north. A hard packed dirt path ran down one side of the village. There were no sidewalks within six miles of my childhood home. “The Path” would turn out to be the lifeline of my world for the first eight years of existence. I would learn to ride my bike on, “The Path” and at the age of six pulled over my first speeder with the sky-blue police-bicycle my father had rescued, repaired, repainted, and recycled for my five-candled birthday. I have owned many bicycles, motorcycles, cars, and trucks over many decades; that simple sky-blue bicycle, with the chrome wheels and coaster brakes, still carries the most cherished memories. The reason is obvious.  
The Greenfield General Store down “The Path,” with one house in between, was right out of Mayberry RFD. “Quaint” would fit it perfectly. The store’s main attraction was a weathered and initial-carved bench that held more stories than a big-city library. I would gladly pay a month’s salary for that bench today. That bench graced the store’s porch for decades. The initials carved in its’ seat and solid spruce back, spanned generations of small-town hand-holding teenagers. It held quiet evidence of late night raids by brave young boys with cheap steel jackknives they’d won at the county fair. Attempting to crack the codes of a heart-filled JG+PB or Billy(?)Was Here”, was a favorite pastime of its seated visitors. On pre-Halloween, Cabbage Night, the brave bench would find itself perched atop the store’s porch roof or on the stoop of the Town Hall across the street. With no hint of distress the bench would simply return to duty, smiling with the knowledge of childhood pranks gently done, and highly regarded. 
Inside the old dry-hinged screen door with the Wonder Bread push bar lay a vast world of penny-candy filled display cases, heavy oak counters, ice cold soda coolers, and hanging fly strips yellowed and busy. Creaky wooden floors with a spongey-give worn smooth by work boots and PF Flyers ran front to back. A real-life butcher block could be found tucked in the stores back acre.  A large brown roll of meat wrapping paper and white twine lay poised for the next hand trimmed steak. There is something unforgettable about the smell of a butcher’s domain. The mix of damp sawdust and aged beef trimmings permeates the temples and settles deep in the mind’s recesses only to return instantly with the thunderous thud of a heavy cleaver as it lops off a thick hunk of red grainy beef.  
The store’s owner at the time of my earliest recollection was named Harry. He was wiry old character with wavy grey hair anyone over the age of fifty would kill for. Harry portrayed grumpy but it was an act. Old men who pin nicknames on young children aren’t grumpy they’re only upset they can’t go back and do it over. Harry tagged me with the name, “Johnny Jump-Up.” With a gentle gruffness he would threaten to, “pin my ears back.” I was never afraid. 
There was an eight foot long glass display case full of penny-candy just inside the front door. It was the centerpiece of the store and it attracted wide-eyed children and adults alike. Bazooka bubble gum, Tootsie Rolls, and strings of red and black licorice filled the hand-smudged giant. I recall one hot summer day around 1960. I was five and in the store with my beautiful young mother in the yellow and white sundress. A salesman came in just as we were leaving. He asked my mother if we would like to sample a new soda. He had sample cups and bottles of the new beverage. It’s name was Mountain Dew. I can taste that small paper cup sample today. Funny how those simple country moments embed themselves in your mind just a fraction below the surface, always ready for easy retrieval when happy thoughts are needed. 
The Greenfield General Store would embrace a handful of different owners through the years. As a pre-teen I worked for one of them after school and on Saturday afternoons. In a world just minutes ahead of child labor laws and hours before my generation, another generation was about to be enveloped in play-less lives inside the so called safe walls of their homes. I was fortunate enough to experience the joy of being a grocery shelf and soda cooler stocker, a floor sweeper, and a trash collector. I earned large sums of loose change, free ice cream and a life long work ethic. Old straw brooms and heavy metal dustpans were my tools of choice. No child was harmed in the formation of responsible young persons in the 1960’s. It was healthy to work. It was good to own blisters from raking leaves and digging potatoes. It was fun to fill pickup trucks with bales of hay. Itchy arms and sweat soaked white t-shirts were normal and expected. The Greenfield General Store was a large part of my young life and though it has been retired to the boredom of office space it will remain a large portion of my fondest memories. 

April 16, 2011

Sons




Sons
By John R. Greenwood
Fathers dream of sons
To carry on their legacy
Not just in name 
But character of being
An individual
To set a path
Their own anew
With hints and traces
Of the fathers self
As the years flow quickly by
Those tracks they do 
Resemble
The footsteps look 
Quite similar
The mirror seems familiar
Oh son, you make me proud
First born or next
It matters not
My blood
Your body 
Carries too
Someday you will see
As I do.
Love
Dad
December 25, 2008
I wrote this for my two sons Brendan and Kevin for Christmas 2008.